To make things a bit clearer we like to talk about enthusiastic consent. That way there is no confusion. Enthusiastic consent works on the premise that both partners should be engaging in any sort of sexual activity with gusto – with enthusiasm. So when you are kissing your partner, they are kissing you back (sticking their tongue down your throat!). When you are pulling your top off, they are ripping theirs off… if they aren’t engaging, then assume they are not ready.
If in any doubt always ask… give your partner the chance to say ‘Yes’ –. Ask, ‘is this OK’, ‘what would you like me to do’ and then listen! There is nothing sexier than knowing that your partner loves what you are doing because you have asked.
To find out more about how to negotiating sex and have those difficult conversations read this….
Remember, when it comes to consent:
- if you are going to make assumptions – assume it is a NO – if you are unsure ask!
- the age of consent – the legal age at which you can make the decision for yourself if you are ready to have sex, in the UK is 16, regardless of gender or sexuality – to find out more click here.
- Did you know that someone cannot consent to sex if they are drunk or under the influence of drugs (even if they are illegal drugs) – to find out more read this…
- Just because someone agreed to have sex with you in the past, does not guarantee they will want to have sex with you this time.
To understand more about rape or sexual assualts read this…
© Going off the Rails 2014. Adapted from ‘Playing Downstairs’ by Jonny Hunt