Attitudes to sex

Do you remember the easy days – the days before you worried about sex?

Sex wasn’t even on your radar – the days before you worried about whom you fancied and who fancied you. Then suddenly everything changed and it was like someone flicked a switch and sex was everywhere you looked. Now you wake up each morning with a tent pole in your pocket or full of anxious knots in your stomach as you check your phone to see if ‘they’ have text, or left you a message on facebook.

Sex can mean many different things to different people, but one thing sex isn’t ever – is simple.

Dammed if you do dammed if you don’t…

Too much, too little, slapper, slut, frigid, virgin, gay, pervert, tranny, dyke, “urh he tried to do what?” Urgh Feet! “You don’t like that do you?” Haven’t you not done that yet? How many people you slept with… it’s how big? How come you are still single?

The trouble sex is surrounded by judgements – there are rules, but no one will tell you what they are. If you sleep around you are a slut or a slapper, if you don’t you are frigid and a virgin – how can you win?! Sex is full of double standards and can at times feel very confusing and unfair.

Unfortunately, sex doesn’t come with an instruction manual or map of the pitfalls and it certainly doesn’t come with a moral compass. People see sex in many different lights and have sex for many different reasons.

© Going off the Rails 2014. Adapted from ‘Playing Downstairs’ by Jonny Hunt

 

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